• The Secret Code and Game Changer To Fruitful Living: PDL Insights (Part 16)

    The Secret Code and Game Changer To Fruitful Living: PDL Insights (Part 16)

    I wondered why optimists and pessimists looked at the same things and related to them differently until I discovered that people do not see things as they are but they see them as they are. We see things as we are inside not as they are. - Coach Tarie: The Wisdom Garden (Volume 1).

    As we continue on addressing the challenges that stand in the way of The Purpose Driven Life (PDL), today we will introduce what I have called the Secret Code to Success and The Game Changer that helps us unlock the right attitude to success. This is because the number one reason why many people fail to fulfill their purposes is hinged on this thing called attitude. We have identified some of the challenges that stand in the way of the PDL path as including the lack of freedom, contradictions that we have to face, the system of the world, the social base and unpleasant experiences. However, those who live the PDL to the fullest are not exempted from these challenges but succeed because of a different attitude. This is captured in the words of Charles Swindoll who said, “I am convinced that life is 10 percent what happens to me and 90 percent how I react to it”. And so it is with you. This means that attitude is the key, the final key of the secret code to success.

    Your attitude is the way you see things. People looking at the same things will react to them differently because of a difference in attitude. As we pursue our purposes we will encounter different situations, we will start at different starting points with different resources and differing backgrounds. How we see things will determine the actions we will take. Will we sit and complain about what we don’t have or will we be ready to look at how we can get what we don’t have using what we have. Attitude is the difference maker. Why have you not pursued your purpose, why have you diverted from the PDL path, why are you not taking the next step. If you have many reasons to justify yourself to the above questions, then it is clear that there is a need of a change of attitude.

    The priceless value of attitude is shown throughout the whole bible and separates those who succeeded and those who failed in living Purpose Driven Lives. The only other person other than Jesus to speak with confidence about living a Purpose Driven Lives to the full encourages us on attitude changes saying, “However, you were taught to have a new attitude.” [Ephesians 4: 23]. This impact of attitude is seen to separate destinies of two different groups of people in the bible. The children of Israel had been promised of a better land that was better than the slavery they were coming from. They were instructed to send twelve spies to go and see the land they were to go and possess. On their return, they gave reports to the whole group of millions of people that was in the wilderness and this is the report of one group, ten of the spies.

    And there we saw the giants, the sons of Anak, which come of the giants: and we were in our own sight as grasshoppers, and so we were in their sight”. [Numbers 13:27-33]

    Notice something in this report, it says ‘in our own sight’. The problem was how they saw themselves in comparison with the giants. It was their attitude. Compare this to the report of one of the spies named Caleb who saw things differently and reported,

    “Let us go up at once, and possess it; for we are well able to overcome it.”

    The people’s destinies were later determined by the difference in their way of seeing things (attitudes) and God commented on the reports saying,

    They will never even see the land I swore to give their ancestors. None of those who have treated me with contempt will ever see it. But my servant Caleb has a different attitude than the others have. He has remained loyal to me, so I will bring him into the land he explored. His descendants will possess their full share of that land. [Numbers 14:23-25 New Living Translation]

    This is true as we pursue our purposes. The promised land of the perfect will of God has its challenges and giants. It is worth pursuing because of the fulfilment, joy and rewards that come with it but we have to deal with the giants. Have you considered the challenges, responsibilities, setbacks, possible disappointments and doubted whether it was worthwhile or you are ready to put on a new attitude?

    The religious sphere has made some to believe that prophetic words and declarations will do it for them. They burden the prophets or pastors thinking that these can cure years of bad leadership, abuse of power, lack of vision and lack of progress and development with a few church meetings and some choice prophetic words. The Israelites had such meetings with God and choice words from God Himself but did not inherit the promises. It needed more. The purpose of the prophetic words and miraculous encounters was to change their attitudes. As I have said,

    “It’s not prophecy, vision or your dream that takes you to your destiny but it’s the attitude that it creates in you that helps you to fight your way to destiny.”- Coach Tarie: The Wisdom Garden (Volume 1).

    You may look at your attitude and lose hope as you maybe see how your attitude is so out of tune with the way you would want and try and imagine what it would take to have a new attitude. Attitude change is a process. Your attitude is a product of the expectations that you have of life. The way you see things is built on what you expect from life. If you are really to be honest with yourself, do you really expect to succeed in life? When you started that business, did you really expect success if you are to scrutinise your inner convictions? Do you really expect that your life will one day make a difference in many people’s lives? Do you have inner convictions of many people seeking to be served by you? Do you expect to be disciplined enough to walk the full PDL path after considering all that has been discussed in the PDL insights to date?

    If we expect to succeed, then our attitude will be different and so will be our mental strength. We can endure pressure and have a positive attitude that will result in the right actions if deep down in our convictions we expect ourselves to make it. Where then do our expectations come from. What we expect from life is a product of our beliefs about ourselves. What do you believe about yourself and your capabilities? Do you believe that you were created uniquely by God for a specific assignment? Do you believe that God knows you by name and has a specific assignment for you? If you do not have this belief, then seeking your purpose will not be easy and worse still pursuing it through the challenges and resistance that will inevitably come your way.

    A story among many studies of the like is given by behavioural psychologists about a young man who after successfully completing his high school with straight ‘A’s sat for Student Aptitude Tests (SAT). He got a 98 in his SAT results and was accepted at this other College. During the first semester, he got straight ‘D’s to the surprise of many. A college counsellor approached him and asked him how he got ‘D’s even though what they were learning was not too different from what he was learning in High school. His response was, “What would you expect from someone who is not very intelligent with an Intelligent Quotient (IQ) score of 98”.  

    The counsellor checked his file and saw that 98 was not an IQ score but an SAT score. The young man did not know that the SAT score meant that he was in the top 2% of all the students that had sat for the test, he was better than 98% of them.  98 IQ score would mean that he was normal and average and this is what he believed about himself and scored ‘D’s in college. After the counsellor explained to him what the SAT score implied, in the following semester, the young man got straight ‘A’s. His belief about himself changed and so did his expectations of results and his attitude, so were the results. What are your beliefs about yourself and how could they be affecting your expectations, attitude, choices and actions about Purpose Driven Living?

    Our beliefs about ourselves are a product of our self-concepts. If attitude is the way we see things, then self-concept is the way we see ourselves. It is the inner consciousness of who we are. If you see yourself as a useless somebody who has nothing much to contribute, then your beliefs about yourself will be self-limiting and your expectations of life will be least and your attitude will follow suit. The Purpose Driven Life begins from your self – concept. One cannot outperform their self-concept. You cannot accept the Perfect Will of God for your life because it is seemingly too big for your life and beyond reach because you see yourself as too small for it.

    This shows why the Kingdom of God is the solution for effective purpose driven living. It starts with being born again which gives you a new identity. With the new identity, the word of God is always about changing your self concept and beliefs about yourself as you discover your new identity as a son of the most powerful existing being (God) and having access to all the resources he has. A walk with him and constant renewal of the mind to accept the new reality is important for the PDL.

    The bible has a story of a young man named Gideon who was earlier discussed in the previous insights. When his purpose knocked on the door, he could not receive it because of his self-concept. He tried to give excuses saying,

    "Me, my master? How and with what could I ever save Israel? Look at me. My clan's the weakest in Manasseh and I'm the runt of the litter." [Judges 6: 15 THE MESSAGE bible]

    God had to help him change his self-concept and after showing him many miraculous signs one experience finally got the results. God gave a dream to the enemies of Gideon and Israel and made Gideon to hear the enemies speaking about the dream as in the text below.

    Gideon arrived just in time to hear a man tell his friend a dream. He said, "I had this dream: A loaf of barley bread tumbled into the Midianite camp. It came to the tent and hit it so hard it collapsed. The tent fell!"  His friend said, "This has to be the sword of Gideon son of Joash, the Israelite! God has turned Midian — the whole camp! — over to him."

    When Gideon heard the telling of the dream and its interpretation, he went to his knees before God in prayer. Then he went back to the Israelite camp and said, "Get up and get going! God has just given us the Midianite army!" [Judges 7:13-15]

    Hearing the dream changed Gideon’s self-concept. He began to believe that he was capable and hence with expectations of victory his attitude changed and he was ready to go to battle and fulfil his assignment of delivering the Israelites from the hand of the Midianites. This shows what I have called the secret code to success which shows that the decisions and actions that we take are a result of expectations we have of life which are birthed by beliefs we have of ourselves emanating from our self-concept.

    I will therefore challenge you to be always on the lookout for what you hear and are always thinking about. There are internal conversations that always happen inside you. I they empowering or disempowering. Do they reflect a good or bad self-concept? Do they foster and cultivate the right belief about yourself? Self-awareness and self-management are skills that you have to master if you are to succeed in The Purpose Driven Life (PDL). Learn a bit about Emotional Intelligence (Self-Awareness and Self-Management) on https://www.coachtarie.com/2017/06/intentional-parenting-4.html. The Word of God always show us how we can work on our attitudes from the word of God which addressed our self-concepts, beliefs about ourselves and expectations of life like in the following texts,

    Be careful what you think, because your thoughts run your life. [Proverbs 4:23, New Century Version]
    And don't for a minute let this Book of the Revelation be out of mind. Ponder and meditate on it day and night, making sure you practice everything written in it. Then you'll get where you're going; then you'll succeed. [Joshua 1:8, THE MESSAGE Bible]

    Don't become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you. [Rom 12:2, THE MESSAGE Bible]

    Summing it all up, friends, I'd say you'll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious — the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. [Philippians 4:8-9, THE MESSAGE Bible]

    In my next chapter I will then show how our attitudes are part of the personal power that we are supposed to use to live full Purpose Driven Lives.

    “The world is full of people who deny responsibility for the status quo and put it on others, but those who take it have the grip to change the world”. – Coach Tarie: The Wisdom Garden (Volume 1).

    Look for more insights on the PDL on www.coachtarie.com or request to be added on the PURPOSE DRIVEN LIVING (PDL) WhatsApp group. Inbox any of the following numbers. +263773301267, +263783573784, +263784456314, +263779924607

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    Coach Tarie Is A Life And Executive Coach Whose Passion Is To See Individuals, Organizations And Families Become All They Were Designed To Become.


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    +263 773 301 267
    +263 712 106 415


    +263 773 301 267
    +263 712 106 415